When to Have Sex With a Guy.

Awhile ago, a guy friend said something that completely changed the way I viewed sex and relationships. He said: “Before a girl sleeps with a guy, she has all the power. Afterward, he has all the power.” I’ve told this to countless friends, both male and female, over the years and have been met with a resounding: “That is so true!.” You can choose to agree or disagree, but there’s no denying that sleeping with a guy has a significant impact on the relationship and can either deepen it or turn it into a physical thing without an emotional leg to stand on.
Most men want sex and most women want a commitment. That’s not to say men don’t want commitment, they do, it’s just not the driving force behind their behavior, getting a lot of sex is. You can blame it on biology and a man’s innate need to spread his seed, or on today’s culture which deems men who sleep with lots of women studs (and women who sleep with lots of men sluts), but it’s just the way it is. As such, women have control when it comes to sex and can decide whether to give in or not, while men have the control when it comes to commitment.

There will be some women who will argue with this fact, and counter by saying they know tons of women who enjoy casual sex and lots of men who are yearning for commitment. Yes, there are people like this, but I’m speaking about the rule, not the exceptions. You don’t often see a woman plotting ways to sleep with many men and wiggle out of any sort of commitment, or a man trying to figure out how to get a girl to just commit and want only him. Just as there is a stigma against women who sleep with a lot of men, there is a stigma against men who are super into commitment and invest way too soon. I’ve dated guys like that, the ones who were ready to marry me on the first date, and I wasn’t flattered…I was freaked out.

The truth is, deciding when to sleep with a guy is important and will have an impact on your relationship. And it’s your decision to make. No girl has ever lost interest in a guy because he slept with her on the first date while guys lose interest in girls all the time for giving it up too soon 
A close friend of mine recently met an amazing guy on an online dating site. He was smart, successful, and a dead ringer for Bradley Cooper. Things got off to a promising start. They exchanged a few flirty messages and he asked her to go out on a Saturday night. They had an amazing time on the date, they continued to message, and he asked her out for the following Saturday early in the week. Another nice date with pleasant conversation and enjoying each other’s company (and some passionate making out) and he again reserved her for the following Saturday night.

Before the date she told me she was a little unsure about this guy. She thought he was great on paper and all but she didn’t really feel like they had so much to talk about, she mostly just thought he was really hot. She decided she was gonna sleep with him after their third date and I didn’t really offer much in the way of advice since it didn’t seem like she was interested in having a real relationship with him.

So they had a passionate night together and continued to text one another but something had shifted…
To be continued…

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